This morning, the mountains were covered in snow.
Yesterday, an enormous rainbow stretched across the entire range.
Today, I am at work again but I submitted another request to work at home so hopefully I can get the next three days off without taking official leave. It is better for the kids if I am there with them. The difference between an engaged parent and a distracted one, basically. If I get approval for that time off, it will roll into an almost three-day weekend, interrupted to come up here for a half day on Saturday (which is a bit silly but honestly, can I complain if it ends up that I only had to desk warm for 12 hours total instead of 44?).
Maybe I will make donuts tonight with the kids.
I wrote down the expenses for the boys’ school stuff last night and realized how extremely careful we will have to tread with our finances this next month. Had the coronavirus not decided to colonize the human race, then it would have been fine but as it is, we lost a paycheck due to lost work so now, well, we just have to see how tight we can pull our belts. I know that we are luckier than most but all the same, such bad timing. We will manage, we always do, usually by the skin of our teeth, but everything always works out in the end. I just was hoping that we could be a little less stressed about it this time. I suppose everyone was hoping for that.
There is a saying in Japanese: shoganai. It cannot be helped. It first came to my attention post-Fukushima and it infuriated me because it was applied to the nuclear meltdown, something that 100% could have been helped. This time around though, I find myself saying it over and over. My sister, a schoolteacher who had been about to take her class on a big field trip before everything was shuttered, did not appreciate it, “how very zen of you,” she snarked, but regardless, it is true. You cannot fix every problem (and should refrain from complaining about them as much as possible) but you can deal with them head-on. It is a concept born from a country that has had more problems than most, for much longer than most.
I do miss regular routines. Everyone is up in arms because our schedules are interrupted, our lives thrown into chaos. Of course, the truth is that normalcy is an empty construct and any regularity is a delusion based on that construct. It is actually somewhat reassuring that we are so fragile, that the system is not permanent. If it can be corrupted, then it can be changed.
Yes, donuts sound good.
Instead of smoking in the rain last night, I stayed up past my bedtime and watched The Awakening Of The Ants. I subscribed to Mubi a long time ago with the idea that I would watch a new movie every Sunday evening. I am failing this mission but will try again next week since this week proved to me what a good idea it actually was. The Awakening Of The Ants was a cinematic dream. The story is slow and subtle but it flows effortlessly.
Next week, maybe I will try this one…