The one in which I walk back my decision to travel back home

Saturday morning and I am awake at my usual time to work on a new short story and perhaps get a little bit of studying in before everyone wakes up.

My enthusiasm for returning to the States to visit this summer has begun to wane. The friend I wanted to visit now seems less available than she was before and while other people seem excited by the prospect of spending some time together, I am wondering if it is best to put it off for another year, especially as the Olympics are affecting airfares.

The idea of going back to my home state served to define my current situation better. As much as it would be interesting to visit people and go swimming everywhere possible, I honestly would prefer to be here. We were planning to go camping on the Seto Islands before my plan to go back arose and if I have to chose between spending 2 days with my friend (at the expense of 2 24-hour flights) and a week exploring the islands of the inland sea with my kids, well, the choice seems obvious.

There is the other thing, the fact that the proficiency exam is in July and December, and that the teacher’s certification interview is in August. It is already the end of January and I promised myself to focus on these matters this year so I could get it over with and make life more stable for my family. With America juxtaposed against my current situation, I came to value what I am trying to do here. The idea of traveling back to the States was infectious though. And yet, 2 days is not worth undermining my goals. Another time, perhaps.

I started work on a new short story this past week. And as I was doing so, I realized that I wanted to create a collection stories with interconnecting characters and yet entirely different tones and narratives. Something about this loosened me up, enabling me to be less timid with the writing of the story, less concerned about every sentence. That is why I enjoy working on my novel, because there is a flow that short story writing does not usually have for me, where every word counts.

It is my first two-day weekend in a long time. I hardly know what to do with myself, except of course get some more coffee and crack open my kanji workbook. Today is going to be another mild day, the high of 14 degrees C, so maybe it will be a good day to take the kids on a short hike. Something to take our minds off of school and work and entrance exams and the impeachment and global warming and racial injustice and airfares and all the thought patterns that consume our weekday minds.


Wordsmith and shepherd of shorter humans.